Long time back, prior to any examination I would be scared to death. I was never scared of ignorance though, which cruelly haunts me now. I was not worried about that which happens around me, I was only scared of not remembering that which was deemed important as per our syllabus.
Year after year, I would invest time… and energy in accepting unquestioned information as also fear of forgetting the same, the fear of failure, the fear of being mocked at or not being accepted. As soon as the exams were over, the relevance of that text would decline, I would never think of how it would be of use to me, how it could assist me in my exploration of life, it was a task which was to be done well.
A few of those report cards are still lying somewhere in some file. I remember making fake chapattis for my doll with a pink one though; They haven’t served much purpose than informing me of the numbers representing how much I had forgotten. They do not tell me of what all I actually missed beyond my syllabus, what all I missed by not truly understanding what was in my syllabus.
Like a mindless machine, I functioned, functioned well as per certain standards, and came out with some papers claiming something about me in certain codes. I was eligible for certain things in life from here onwards according to someone who I don’t really know.
A system which managed to homogenize even the artwork you make in drawing exam (conical peaks, rivulet, sun, sun rays, tree, hut), though being questioned, seems far from a revolution it strongly demands. The solutions are not to be alternate, as they are called, but be able to change the system from within. I remember getting a 40 out of 100 in my drawing examination, for I drew tortoise and snails, maize and as I very clearly remember, no sun. I enjoyed sketching then, and did not really care about the grades for it.I lied to my parents that especially for drawing examination, marks are out of 60, I wish I could have cared even less for grades in other subjects. i wish I had enjoyed reading those texts as much as I enjoy reading our prescribed texts now, or I enjoyed reading my story-books then. It is not too much to wish for I hope.